University of Virginia Health System

U.VA. HEALTH SYSTEM OFFERS TIPS ON SEPARATION ANXIETY

Every year thousands of children across the country attend preschool or kindergarten for the first time. For many, the transition from home to school is a smooth one but for others the fear of leaving one's parents is too great. Child/parent separation anxiety can vary in degrees of seriousness. The University of Virginia Health System's Child/Parent Attachment clinic in the psychiatric medicine department addresses this and other problems with families. As the first day of school approaches, there are ways to ease the fears of children who must separate from their parents for the first time:

• Validate the child's fears without giving in to them. Let children know that it's okay to be a little scared, that they will be okay; help get them settled, tell them when and where you will see them later in the day; and then leave or send them to school.
  
  
• Encourage brave behaviors. Remind children how well they have done in the past when Mommy and Daddy have been away, if there were such times. Suggest to them how Barney or the Power Rangers might handle the situation.
  
  
• Tell children in advance what's going to happen. Do not suddenly send a child to preschool without ever having talked about it with the child beforehand.
  
  
• Focus on the positive. Don't let children dwell on the negative things that might happen, but rather on the fun they will have at school or day care.

August 16, 2001