 PROJECTS
One IDP family's story, The Republic of Georgia
For the past three years, CSMHI has been interviewing and following the adjustment of an IDP family at Tbilisi Sea, a former resort located outside Tbilisi that has housed 3,000 Georgian IDPs from Abkhazia since the early 1990s. This project has been a key element in the experiential training that CSMHI has provided for FDHR personnel. The methodology involves spending many hours with this family during each of the CSMHI team trips to Georgia, sometimes visiting them once, sometimes twice, with each encounter lasting several hours. We sit in their cramped apartment, formerly a hotel suite, and carry out interviews while observing their daily lives. We are accepted as participant observers. Several FDHR members accompany us and one of them has been the principal translator each time we have visited. FDHR colleagues have told us that this opportunity has been one of the most valuable aspects of our collaboration with them. In addition to training FDHR, our work with this family has also had an impact on them and on that whole community. The family's improvement over time has become a model of adjustment for many of the Tbilisi Sea IDPs.
A brief background on the family may be helpful here, using pseudonyms to protect their identity. Bekari and Marli are husband and wife. A well known soccer player and policeman when they lived in Abkhazia, Bekari has evolved as one of the leaders of a paramilitary force at Tbilisi Sea, and in fact he and his men returned to the Georgia-Abkhazia border for various skirmishes in the past few years. This family has the only telephone among all the 3,000 people living in the three resort hotels in the complex. Because of this, their apartment is a central gathering point and they have become unofficial leaders of the Tbilisi Sea refugee community. Bekari and Marli have three children, two boys and one girl. The boys, Merabi and Gogi, are now in their early 20s and the girl, Doruna, has just turned 20. The older boy, Merabi, got married to another IDP named Sopiko last year, adding a new bride to the family. Marli's father was a well-known novelist in Abkhazia, and since being exiled to Tbilisi Sea (he lives in an apartment on the floor above Marli and Bekari), he has been writing poems each day describing as an IDP his perceptions and emotions concerning events as they happen. In other words, he has been documenting in poetry the adjustment of IDPs. Marli's mother also lives there, but during our visits over these two and a half years she is the only one to whom we have not spoken directly.
The story of this family's adjustment, their reaction to the government and to political developments throughout the months and years, reflects their resistance to integrate into society in Tbilisi. It tells of their resistance to change their identities, as well as their attempts to mourn and adapt to their losses and integrate into their new environment. Our experience with these seven people has developed as a methodology for understanding their internal world and learning something of their lives.
Before describing the positive changes we saw in October 2000, we must return to our previous visit in August 1999 to explain the transformation. When we arrived in Georgia on that trip, we were told the bad news that Marli had had a stroke. When we visited the family at Tbilisi Sea, we observed that she did indeed look ill, like a zombie, anxious, paralyzed, and very thin. Our medical judgment suggested, however, that she had not had a stroke, but was suffering from acute severe depression, and we diagnosed at that time certain psychodynamics pertaining to this depression. Here is what we observed and interpreted on our visit in August 1999.
The family had been exiled for seven years. All of them had held onto the hope that they would someday return to Abkhazia, though this hope was slowly disappearing. Nonetheless, they were all active. Marli was the one to rally and comfort the wives and mothers when Bekari and other sons and husbands went off to fight in skirmishes. As time passed, the two sons grew. They began going to Tbilisi State University, had new friends, and became involved in social activities. Even though their integration with non-IDPS was not complete, it had begun. One son married another IDP. The other had an IDP girlfriend, but they stopped investing in Abkhazia and began investing in their own futures. Doruna, the daughter, also began attending the University and focusing on other interests away from the family. The skirmishes stopped and Bekari became more accustomed to his new position as a police officer in Tbilisi and more verified in this new location. Meanwhile, back in August 1999, Marli's father continued to write poems daily, but he too was improving. He had received a literary award and was preparing to publish his poems.
The only person left to carry the link to their old life in Abkhazia and the legacy of being made to live as IDPs was Marli. She had assimilated this role in the following way: Her father would come down in the morning to read his daily poetry. Everyone else was there and listened politely, but no one responded, except for Marli, who was close to her father. She would absorb her father's poems as if they deposited in her what it meant to be an IDP. After reading the poems, her father would be happy and would go back upstairs to write some more. Marli not only received a daily dose of poems, but was also given the responsibility of organizing them for publication. She was "stuck" in her role.
Marli also was closest to their dog Charlie. They had adopted Charlie after arriving at Tbilisi Sea, but they had named him for a previous dog they had had to leave behind in Abkhazia. The new Charlie greatly resembled the old one and served for Marli as a "linking object" to their previous world. A linking object is an inanimate or non-human object chosen by a mourner for a particular function. The object becomes (unconsciously) a symbolic meeting point between the mental image of what was lost and the corresponding mental image of the mourner. As long as the mourner "controls" the linking object, he/she has the illusion that he/she has the choice of bringing back the lost object or giving it up. The mourner does neither, but in the process postpones the work of mourning. (For more details see Volkan, 1981 and Volkan, 1993.) As long as Charlie lived, Marli had some control over him and the link he represented with Abkhazia. But Charlie had died just before our August 1999 visit. Marli was left holding the legacy and the link to Abkhazia, but her mechanism for doing so (Charlie) was gone. She then became the only vessel for containing and remembering those horrible memories for the whole family. While she had no suicidal thoughts, she believed that she would die and turned everything into herself.
During our August 1999 visit, we expressed these ideas to Marli, and she understood them. We also told her that she needed to save herself from being the "chosen" one. Having seen that people were dying (there were funerals at Tbilisi Sea every time we went), we now understood why. Many families must have had someone who assumed this burden, and for some it led to death. We told Marli that if she did not die, she could become a model for others, showing that it was possible to live through something horrible and in the end save oneself. In August, the family was still putting the finishing touches on a new room they were adding to their apartment. They were still calling that room the Volkan room, indicating that we, the outsiders, were important in their mind. Marli and the family depended upon our coming to help. The transference notion of an outsider coming to save them was still very strong. It was in part because of this positive transference that we were able to urge Marli to get out of her depression.
On the October 2000 trip, we noted real differences in Marli and the others, and evidence that through our work with this family, their attempts to adapt in better ways, to mourn and to integrate, have become a model for others at Tbilisi Sea. After eight years of exile in miserable conditions, the family members have begun to feel verification of their new status. When we arrived at the apartment, we were greeted by a transformed and stunningly beautiful Marli. She had regained weight (and reminded me that I had told her to do so). Her daughter Doruna and daughter-in-law Sopiko were also in the room. It was very obvious that Marli liked her daughter in law, and Sopiko had cooked a fantastic cake for us. Everyone was smiling.
Bekari, who early on was adamant about recapturing Abkhazia and was full of renewed rage at Shevardnadze whenever he returned from skirmishes, had recently been asked to take part in a soccer game between IDPs and local Georgians. At the end of the game, he had been given an award, marking, in a concrete way, the recognition and self-esteem that he had been seeking. The game had taken place earlier this year, since our last visit, and we could see that he now feels more comfortable as an IDP. With his job as a policeman in Tbilisi, he is integrating himself more into Tbilisi society. In the past we reported how Doruna sensed her parents' worry over having enough food for her and how she remained overweight as if to assuage their worries. We described how we "interfered" with this dynamic and opened communication between mother and daughter. Doruna has lost weight and now attends Tbilisi State University even though it is a long bus ride from Tbilisi Sea into the city. For the first time, we could communicate with her comfortably in English during our visit. Sopiko, the new daughter-in-law, looks like Marli herself as a young woman. It is clear that Marli likes her very much, and she has brought new life to the family. The younger son, Gogi, is also in love and his girlfriend has begun appearing more frequently in this family setting.
We discovered interesting psychodynamics when the family introduced their new dog Linda to us. Right away we could see that Linda had no connection to Charlie: she is female, bigger, a different color, and very clean, in contrast to Charlie who was always dirty and scruffy. We were told the story of Linda's arrival. After Charlie died, Marli did not want another dog. But time passed and Bekari found this dog and brought her home on the anniversary of Charlie's death (August 2000). Marli did not want to invest in the new dog at first, but the dog followed her everywhere. She finally realized that this dog was her dog and that the time had come to say goodbye to Charlie. When she made this decision, her depression disappeared. Linda is clearly devoted to Marli and lies under her feet whenever possible.
Later I also learned that the Volkan room is no longer called the Volkan room. It belongs to them. I felt that this was a progressive sign (like the resolution of transference neurosis in psychotherapy). The new room is prettily decorated, with a stone floor, fireplace, and colorful photos, in stark contrast to the depressing halls outside. Today, the hotel is even more dilapidated, doors have fallen down, walls are crumbling, etc.
Throughout the years, the family had spoken of their one-year plan, then their three-year and five-year plans. Now they know they will not return to Abkhazia. If it happens, fine, but they are committed to this location. They do not have the money to move out of Tbilisi Sea, but why not make it better. Now they are fixing up another room, in case the son and daughter-in-law have a baby-they are looking toward the future. We also heard that they built a garage. Doruna told us that the whole community is changing. There are now 15 other families building garages and another family made an addition onto their apartment just like the "Volkan room".
At this point in the interview, Tengiz Chachava, Marli's father came in. I had never seen him like this before. He is very happy and looks agile and fit and full of pride. Since our last visit, he published a collection of his poems written through 1999, and he presented a copy to us. He says he is still writing. We do not know what he is writing now, but his face tells a lot. His bitterness has disappeared. He is no longer visibly shaking, tortured with anger. Our partner Nodar told us that he now has more self esteem, that he used his IDP status to create his self esteem. Mr. Chachava modelled himself after David Guranishvili, a well known 18 century poet who was exiled in Ukraine and wrote poems about his exile. By identifying with this poet and receiving a literary award, he has developed a new identity.
We will of course visit Marli and her family again on our next visit, but already, without expecting it, we can see the worth of this kind of methodology for dealing with certain kinds of IDP communities, such as Tbilisi Sea. FDHR members had done a lot of work with the children at Tbilisi Sea, but there are not sufficient funds available to help each person individually. Our experience shows that if one works intensively with one family, however, they may become a model for the rest of the community (building garages and extra rooms is tangible evidence of the way this family has influenced others). As we were leaving, I pointed out to Marli that she had now become a model for surviving and not succumbing to death, that she can now show others that you do not have to die.
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